remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
