oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
