i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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