i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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