So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So vagazzling was a success
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
