Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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