My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
