we made out on top of his cat.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
