hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
