the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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