I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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