Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
