i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
