you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
