Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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