it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
