With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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