hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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