She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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