Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
