when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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