Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
