i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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