I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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