Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
