she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
