the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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