so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
