you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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