hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you had me at cake vodka
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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