your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
