all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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