when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
