I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
