how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
