I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
