yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i came on her dog
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
