To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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