I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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