That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
