I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
