I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
