so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
