every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I've blown a few things in my day
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
