the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
