my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
