my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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