I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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