I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
