I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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