btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
