and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
