giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
